5 Reasons I Despise My Mother In Law
What? Your mom’s going to be staying with us? Why don’t you ask me before you tell her she can? You know how I feel about her….
The statement above isn’t something new for married couples. It’s a conversation that most husbands and wives get into, time after time. Although I would like to think I am way different from a typical male since I have no macho attitude, the statement above applies to me as well. So yes, I myself despise my mother in law. Before I go any further into this post, I would just like to remind my female readers that this might not be true about your mother. This is my mother in law I am talking about in this post which mostly is true for most men when it comes to the reason why they despise their mother in law 
.
Here are 5 reasons why I despise my mother in law which I am sure is true for most men,
They Are My Kids, Not Yours
Sound Familiar? Yup, that’s the mother in law right there. When you do something it automatically becomes wrong just cause you are her son in law. But the same thing when done by your kids ( her grand kids ) it becomes right, just cause they are her grand kids. How about the fact she tries to teach you how to raise your own kids? Don’t we men just hate that? As a dad we have our own little ways to try to shape our kids’ future and such, but the grandma has to step in and tell you what to do and what not to. And what makes it worse is the fact she does it right infront of the grandkids. This obviously makes you mad since she is sending a message to the kids indirectly which says, ” What your dad is doing isn’t right. This is what you should do.” I just hate that. Don’t teach me how to raise my kids. Ohh how I hate my mother in law!! Strong word but it’s a fact.
Why The Hell is It Wrong When I do It?
The other thing that I hate, just hate about my mother in law is the differentiation she does between her son and me. Ohhhh no….. I don’t want to be her son…..no way … just the fact that when her son does something with his wife it’s ok, cause he is her son. But if I do the same thing it’s not ok cause I am her son in law. It seems like mother in laws tend to make our lives hard and they don’t even have to try it, it just comes to them naturally.
How come it’s ok for her son to take his wife out to movies while a babysitter watches their children. And when I do the same thing she says , “Ummmm….Ron, don’t you think you should stay home with the kids so she can have some time alone?” WTF? I give her time alone but I do want to spend some time with her as well. Why is her son a great husband when he takes his wife out to dinner and when I plan on doing the same thing I am an ass? That makes sense…NOT!
Can We Go Easy on The Avon Perfumes
I think this is true for most mother in laws. Avon is what they grew up with. If your mother in law is fairly young, this might not be the case. But most older MIL’s ( Mother In Law ) are just stuck with AVON. My mother in law literally uses 5 different perfumes at the same time. Of course, I save money on air freshner but the smell that lingers from her isn’t pleasant. Think about it…five different perfumes, it’s just not pleasant.
By the way, she is also an AVON representative and hosts regular AVON parties at MY HOUSE. It’s bad enough that I come home and she is there, imagine my frustration when I see 10 more woman just like her..not fun!
It’s My House, My TV and My Remote!
I have said it time after time, I am not a typical male that likes to sit on the couch with feet up on the table watching TV all day. On a typical day I probably watch TV not for more than 2 hours. Usually at night, once the kids go to bed I like to watch a little TV with my wife and then catch some news to keep myself updated on what’s going on around the world.
My mother in law on the other hand likes to watch Infomercials. When she is around, she literally will take charge over my remote and TV and not to mention my house. As somebody older than me I show respect to her and let her do what she wants to, but after a while it starts to get a little annoying. Why the hell can’t I watch what I want to watch when I want to watch in MY HOUSE? Beats me.
I wouldn’t Have done that, but that’s ok
Hey guys, does that sound familiar? I bet it does. It’s a very common statment made my most mother in laws. You do something and although it can’t be done any better, she will say it “I wouldn’t have done that, but that’s ok.” The other day I built my children a tire swing and it was as sturdy as it could be. I was happy and quite proud of myself. My mother in law walks out on the deck and says “I wouldn’t have done that. I would rather buy them a swing set…but that’s ok.” I didn’t say anything to her but my thoughts sure did, “How about you help me out with expenses a little and stop spoiling my kids? How about you give me my wife back who you have made to think I am the worst man on earth? How about when I do things just like your son does you say something nice? How about you treat me like your son? How about you see what I have given to your daughter and grandkids? How about you just treat me as a human….how about that, you old B****?”
Yes, those are some harsh words but if you think I am an ass for writing this and expressing my feelings, you are more than welcome to come take her for couple weeks. I am sure you will have her back within a day or so… but even one day without her would be heaven for me.
I apologize, if my words were harsh and disrespectful. This is the best way to let my feelings out and I couldn’t do anything but to share it with you guys, since we talk and share things with each other. Can’t really talk to my mother in law and she has started turning my wife against me but hey that’s what mother in laws do.
There she is, I can hear her talking to my wife “What the hell does he do on the computer for hours? You sure he is not into Porn?” Goddddddddd I hate that woman
10 Comments
July 19th, 2008 at 4:40 am
Sounds Like you have a handful with that one.
I am fortunate to have a mother in law that respects me and the way I am with her daughter. Dont get me wrong more than two days and I am ready to kick her out of the house.
What I find interesting is the fact that you have all these feelings of angst and anger. This is where that “Male” attitude actually comes into play in a good way and not a negative way.
Reason 1) If I told my mother in law to not correct me in front of my kids (hypothetical since again I am married without kids) you can better believe she will listen to me because if she doesn’t she knows I wont stand for it. I have had to correct my own mother for getting in the way of how my sister chose to raise my niece. Its about standing up for yourself and your convictions.
Reason 2) I married an only child (that has its ups and downs) so I cant at all compare to this but the one thing I that you should take away from this is that You know you are doing what you need to do for your wife and your family. If your wife wants to go out with you and you want to take her out, it doesn’t matter what your mother in law says. Treat it as just like every other negative comment, don’t let it bother you.
Reason 3) You are stuck with the way she smells unless you are allergic to her perfume. That is just common courtesy when you have a guest. But when it comes to the AVON parties, BE A MAN, put your foot down. Let her know that the parties are not okay unless discussed with YOU and your WIFE before she invites ANYONE over. That is common courtesy on her part.
Reason 4) When it comes to the TV and Guests this is where me and my wife are split, My wife out of courtesy will let my mother in law watch whatever she wants. I myself hate TV in general and only watch a select few shows so when the “Good Old” Mother in law comes around I find that like all things a compromise is in hand. I let her watch her shows so she feels more at “comfort” in my home, and I get the hell away from there as fast as possible. I take my laptop into a bedroom or I will flat out leave and maybe do some late night grocery shopping, or this can be the perfect time to sneak away and get some long over due “together” time with your wife while your Mother in Law is distracted by the sales om her infomercials.
Reason 5) The nerve of your mother in law, I really do understand why you don’t like that woman. Again this has to do with not letting her get in the way of things. You have to remember you didn’t build the tire swing for her you did it for your children. Imagine how they feel about it. What are they going to tell their friends… “My Dad built me a tire swing in my backyard.” That right there should put a smile on your face. You didn’t have to go buy a swing set. Your kids really didn’t even need a swing set. so forget her nasty comments.
It sounds like there are two issues here. One you are being walked all over and two you are looking for acceptance.
As a Man and a Father you need to maintain a household of Love and Respect. I imagine you treat your wife with a large amount of Love and Respect, and I imagine she does the same for you. Just like you treat your kids and you expect your kids to treat you. Why would you allows someone else to come into YOUR home and disrupt that. Treat your mother in law with Love and Respect but demand that you are treated the same. If my mother in law disrespected me like you say yours does (especially in front of the kids) she would not be staying under the roof my wife and I share.
And why on earth if you hate someone do you care how they feel about you. You don’t need her approval for anything. The only thing you need to worry about is that you are taking the best care of her daughter and grand children as you can. Your wife is the only person you should need approval from. When you know your wife is happy it shouldn’t matter what your mother in law says, or how your brother in law treats his wife. You should be able to say that you treat your wife better.
You mentioned your mother in law is turning your wife against you. Well that sounds like you need to talk to your wife, make sure she is happy. If my mom ever said anything negative about my wife and how she acted I would never take her side. Being married means I am only on one side and its my wife’s for better or for worse. Talk to your wife find out what she is thinking. Because if your mom is wedging herself between you two that means there is something that needs to be worked out.
Ron, I feel for you. I really do. As a not so typical but more typical than yourself man all I can say is stand up for your feelings. especially if you know you are right.
July 19th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
why don’t you just dump the bitch? I’m single and i don’t have to worry about mother in laws. life is good…. i do what i want, when I want, and nobody tells me what to do.
July 20th, 2008 at 5:17 am
Have you tried pointing some of these out to her, in a respectful way? It sounds like you might just have to be a bit more assertive with her and her behavior; after all it’s your family. Either that or move far enough away to not have to deal with quite so frequently.
July 20th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
I have an old 90 yr old bitch in my house, she has a touch of alzheimer’s but not bad. she sleeps late usually until 12 and goes to bed at twelve. she sits in the family room blasting the TV watching re runs of Raymond or Reba everyday, expects my wife to make her food,but not just food. special foods. she pees in her pants and smells terrible. she refuses to wear underwear she takes control of the family room and TV. she is sooo never grateful that my wife takes care of her and my wife keeps doing it! IM retired and i cant take it anymore. she ruining our furniture. we put a tv in her room but goes right in the family room. pls dont tell me to get a job. i worked all my life but now were stuck with her. and shes as cheap as anyone i know. she has never offered to pay for anything in the forty some years Ive known her. and never says thanks, she just expects things. help! i want to strangle her! help!
July 21st, 2008 at 1:07 am
Re: Jim
Wow, that sounds it sucks pretty hard. Any chance of getting a full time carer or putting her in a home? That or duct taping her to trolley and swinging by the nearest hospital emergency centre (kidding). I’m not too sure how to help with your predicament, since I’m fairly young, and my in-laws are quite laid back and not old yet. Have you thought of something like family counseling, or in lieu of a more permanent solution, taking a holiday yourself (or any excuse to get out of the house: join a club, or go to a bar, take a university or college course etc) to get away for a bit? Or organizing for any other relatives (if any) to share some of the responsibilities? I know people at 90 are pretty set in their ways and can be pretty difficult; but I suppose it won’t really be forever if she’s already hit 90. At least hopefully for your sanity. Good luck with it.
July 21st, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Thanks for your comments and concerns guys. I am definitely going to have to find a way out from this……will keep you guys updated of my strategy to handle this war from hell
July 21st, 2008 at 6:12 pm
I’m pretty cool on the In Law thing , Mines looking like it’s going to move 10,000 miles away *smirk*
July 21st, 2008 at 9:01 pm
@Photosinferno : lucky you
. I don’t see that happening for myself
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